You may feel like the media and the world is stoning you because of the incident with your then fiance in that elevator.
While you have not committed adultery in your marriage, you have betrayed yourself. I'm not saying this to judge you. I'm saying this because I have been there. I was homeless in Los Angeles and hooked up with a man who was extremely verbally abusive to me. I was in a financially vulnerable situation with nowhere to go, so I put up with it. Each day losing more and more of my self esteem and self worth.
He would say horrible things to me. I would get upset and leave, but he would apologize by putting me up in nice hotel for a few days. On and on this went for months, until God separated us in his own way. He moved. I ended up back on the streets for a while then went back home to my family.
I've been praying for you and hope that things improve for you. In looking at you, I can sense that you betrayed and given up on yourself many years ago. When this incident occurred, Jesus would not have told you to turn the other cheek. He would have likely said forgive him and love yourself enough to remove yourself from the situation. We are to be wise as serpents, yet harmless as doves. I know in situations like this, it's easier said than done. I've been through the fear, insecurity and uncertainty of walking away when I didn't know how I would make it.
Fortunately, God, turns things around for our good. In your case, you are married now which gives you a more leveraged position financially in the court system. For the sake of your future and that of your children, be prayerful and ask God should you divorce. It may or may not happen again, but God knows the end from the beginning and will guide you
In my situation, one night during a time I was sleeping at LAX, God gave me a scripture as I considered moving in with the man who was verbally abusive to me. The scripture said something to the effect, "I will deliver you from his hands." I kept that in my heart.
I pray the same for you.
Image source: freedigitalphotos.net | Stuart Miles